How Canada Can Truly Become a Sea King

A love letter to the world's most embarrassing military procurement history

The Canadian Military has always fascinated me. Perhaps I found irony in the notion that the very same government taxing its population to oblivion “for their own good” was also totally inept at protecting it.

It all started in 1992. Nine-year-old me saw the Mulroney government order replacements for Canada’s aging fleet of CH-124 Sea King helicopters. These national embarrassments needed 30 hours of maintenance for each hour of flight. And the original fleet of 41 had been reduced to as few as 28 through attrition.

So ordering a replacement fleet seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Some would say the only thing to do.

And then a French Canadian man with a funny accent running for Prime Minister appeared on TV and said “no new helicoptahrz!” And when he won the election, he cancelled the contract as promised. And then his government proceeded to ignore the situation for a decade, thus setting off a thirty year delay in the acquisition of new choppers. (And a 30 year grudge I’ve held against the Liberal Party.)

So that gives you a glimpse into the state of Canada’s military some 33 years ago. Since then, humanity has invented the Internet, the smartphone, reusable rockets, self-driving cars, and we’re on the cusp of autonomous robots at scale. In that time, Canada has modernized its military, creating a force that punches above its weight for a middle power: a three ocean navy, a modern air force, a small but capable army.

Hahahahahahaha, I’m just kidding. We bought four broken subs built in the 80s that the British had already decommissioned. HMCS Chicoutimi caught fire on its delivery voyage across the Atlantic in 2004, killing one sailor. At times, Canada has had zero of the four submarines available to defend the longest coastline in the world.

We retired our four Iroquois-class destroyers. These regularly served as NATO flagships in times past. Without them, the navy is deprived of fleet-level command and control and area air defense. Our remaining frigates have to hide under the umbrella provided by American destroyers.

We tried to replace our FA-18 jets from the 80s. The Harper government selected the F-35 as the replacement in 2010, costs ballooned, there was a scandal, the process was reset, Trudeau promised an “open competition” in 2015, then spent years exploring a stopgap purchase of used Australian F/A-18s, and eventually committed to the F-35 anyway. Except now we’re reconsidering the F-35 purchase because of Trump. Zero jets have been delivered. Sweden is trying to get us to buy the Gripen. The US says if we do, it may be the end of NORAD.

We have like 80 mostly non-operational tanks from… you guessed it… the 80s! We gave 8 to Ukraine. In the photos I saw of their delivery, let’s just say they didn’t look factory fresh. The official diplomatic response from Ukraine was “gee, thanks.”

We have enough ammunition stored to fight an artillery war for perhaps a week, and enough domestic capacity to produce in a month the number of shells Ukraine would need in a single day. Oh, and we only have 33 artillery guns anyway. And guess what, they need to be replaced too.

We also have a shortage of tens of thousands of military personnel, including technicians who require months or years of training. So even where we do have new hardware, like our six brand new arctic patrol vessels, we can only keep one of them operational due to crew shortages.

Not to worry, though. Our arctic patrol vessels can engage the enemy with a tiny mounted gun at a maximum range of a few kilometers. Its Russian counterpart of similar size can engage over the horizon with Kalibr cruise missiles at a range of 1,500 km or more. So it doesn’t really matter whether we field one, six, or one hundred of these bad boys.

But for the first time in generations, there is hope. Prime Minister Carney has committed to spending a staggering 5% of GDP on the military by 2035. We’ve raised salaries. We’re hiring. We have created a new agency that can cut through procurement red tape for large purchases. And consequently, we are in various phases of acquiring a fleet of 15 destroyers, 12 submarines, and 88 jets, as well as new support ships, early warning aircraft, tactical helicopters, self-propelled artillery, and domestic ammunition production.

This would give our navy serious warships with advanced sensors, communications, missiles, and torpedoes. By 2040, if things go as planned, Canada will truly be a sea king, fielding a navy that ranks in the top 10 globally. Nine-year-old me has been waiting 33 years. And maybe this time, it will actually happen.

But for now, we’re more of a sea tuna with our arctic patrol ships and their cute little fins… I mean guns.